Friday, February 10, 2012

A state of affairs.

February commences the 19th month that I have been a resident of Provo, Utah. Despite being here for a considerable amount of time, I do not count myself on being well acquainted with all of Provo's attractions. (i.e. I still have not hiked The Y. I am saving that for my last semester). However, the more time I spend in this splendid little niche of a city, the more I begin to understand the differences in personality between those from the numerous states of this country.

For all intents and purposes, I will focus today's remarks on the male species as I am "supposedly" in the market for a husband... (Note: The views expressed in this post are solely those of the author and are based upon broad stereotypes acquired via the Brigham Young University campus).

Mr. Utah-Utah men generally have a desire to dress well, which can be a plus because what girl doesn't want to date a smartly dressed man? However, this can become a problem when the boy you're interested in has better fashion sense than you do. Men from Utah have brains and are ambitious, however they can come across as a little pretentious (i.e. "I am from Zion, where are you from?" "My father is best friends with such and such general authority." "I was an AP on my mission." etc.). On the plus side, they tend to be quite witty and are great conversationalists, but unfortunately can be a little boring when you want to be more spontaneous or spend all night talking in accents. So I suppose if your one true desire is to laugh really hard, don't go looking for that in a man from Utah.

Mr. Idaho-Men from Idaho are all somewhat small towny, which is good. You can count on having a good laugh if you're in the company of someone from Idaho. But for some unknown reason, the Idahoan breed tend to get obsessed about something, whether it be politics or physical health. Don't get in the way of their obsessions.

Mr. Colorado-The only thing so far that I have noticed about men from Colorado is that they are outdoorsy. And since I am not particularly outdoorsy (really I'm quite stay inside and read a booky) men from Colorado and I don't have a lot in common. Thus leading to a very short summation of my experience with them.

Mr. California-There are major differences between northern Californian men and southern Californian men, but since it is one state (that is just too big for its britches), I will clump them all together. Californian men are enjoyable, are quick with a joke, and can often be good company. Nevertheless, they come across as quite shallow, selfish, and materialistic and are (whether they are aware of it or not) bent on rebelling against the Utah-Mormon stereotypes.

Mr. Arizona-In a nutshell, men from Arizona are delightful. They are ambitious, hard-workers with great senses of humor. They can astound you with their intellectual wit as well as make you laugh so hard your sides ache. They are fiercely loyal and true to the faith. Men from Arizona are the right choice always.

All other states in the union are either too easily forgotten or too far away to be considered, thus their men make no lasting impression upon my mind.

(This post may or may not be strongly affected by my love for Arizona and the fact that my beloved state will be celebrating its centennial on February 14th).

Happy Statehood!


  1. Being from Idaho I can say I think you were spot on with the Mr. Idaho type. However, I must disagree with the Mr. California. Maybe Eric is the lone exception but for a SO-CAL man he's pretty great:)

  2. I love this post!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! It speaks the truth (okay maybe generalizing isn't a good thing but nonetheless)! AZ boys are best!

  3. So...Who's this boy from Arizona???

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  5. I am the boy from Arizona.

    I am also the boy who lived.

    I am also the boy who likes this post.

  6. Race, don't go giving my mother any ideas that you are the boy! HAHAHAHAHA Kelly, love love love this post! We are a little partial...ok a lot partial to AZ, and its men! Who wouldn't be right?!

  7. PS Maybe I should rephrase that comment to Race...don't even know the guy! Just don't know how else to say it.

  8. I know a man from Arizona. And he makes my heart flutter. Thus, I must agree with your conclusions.