Attack of the Killer Apache!

On Thursday afternoon, I was driving back home to good ol' SJ for Katelyn's wedding. I had just gotten out of Bylas--the name alone strikes fear into the hearts of many--when I noticed a silver SUV in the opposite lane pull off to the side. To my surprise, a very large Apache man got out. Then to my dismay and horror, he stood in the middle of my lane and started running towards my car. I was actually afraid that he was going to run me over instead of vice versa. I slowed down to crawling speed, and switched into the other lane to just go around him, but the man switched lanes with me, and then switched back again when I returned to my lane. I stopped the car, unable to think of what to do. The man approached my car and slammed his hands on my hood and yelled something unintelligible at me. I was sure he was going to crawl on my hood, or attempt to get into my car, or any series of awful things. I looked towards to the SUV to see if the passengers were laughing at this wild man's antics, but they were stone-faced. I had no idea what I should do. I couldn't go around him, I considered honking at him, rolling down my window to yell at him, I even thought about running him over. Certainly I could plea self-defense in the case, but I thought that his large friends wouldn't take that very well....Maybe my car wouldn't even survive the impact of running him over. Fortunately, by the time I had thought all of this through, and had come up with no solution--other than settling on the fact that I was going to die a lonely death on the highway outside of Bylas--the man went around my car! I watched in the rear view mirror as he approached the car behind me, but the car simply went around him as if it were a daily occurrence. Oh, the adventures that one has driving through Bylas!