Thoughts from the window.

Tomorrow is the first day of classes. The first day of my last semester. And yet, it does not feel much different than any other first day of school. Tomorrow will not feel any different than any other day. It will be the same routine. The same run-through of the syllabus, the same dazed-looking freshmen, the same crowd of students jostling from class to class in newly purchased clothes and notebooks. And yet I wish it would feel somewhat different. That there would be a crowd of people singing and dancing and cheering me on as I go to the first of my last classes.

The fact of the matter is, I hate when things end. I hate when I have to finish a good book. I hate when all the ice cream is gone. Yes, I know I can always start a new book and buy a new carton of ice cream, but it doesn't matter. When something good ends, I have to mourn just a little bit.

So here I am, on my bed in a new house, with my window open, staring out at the inconsistent spittle of rain. It is the perfect spot and setting to have a really good cry, but alas, I have no tears. I only cry at the most inconvenient of times. One of my many talents.

But I suppose the ending should be mourned less and the new beginning celebrated. After I graduate, I will be facing the real world, which for me will probably just be grad school. Not quite the real world yet, but I am getting closer. In a couple of weeks I will have a brand new niece and a brand new nephew. I am in a new ward and will make new friends (jinxing myself perhaps) and have a new church calling. In a couple of months I will know if I'm going to London or not. All sorts of things to look forward to.

But whatever it may be, an ending or a beginning, I feel grateful for both. The laughter and the tears are as equally precious to me.

-KB

Top of the "Y" after hiking it my first time.