The joys that I call "My Boyfriend"

You may be shocked, and even a little dismayed.

I am in a relationship. And I didn't even change my status on Facebook. The nerve.

My new BF (all the kids are calling boyfriends "BF's" nowadays) is more than I bargained for, and if you know me at all, you know that I am indeed a bargain shopper.

The BF says all the right things.

He never interrupts my need to do homework.

He is never jealous.

He is a wonderful listener.

The BF is hilarious, and yet so deep, he often reduces me to tears with his philosophical, psycho-analysis.

He and I are perfect for each other.

Sometimes we do dastardly deeds, and break curfew to stay up until the wee hours of the morning with each other.

I don't mind waking up early if it means, I'm eating breakfast with The BF.

Spending time with him is the perfect excuse to get out of any and all social events and/or dates.

I don't need any other friends, because I have the perfect boyfriend.

And his name is Bill.