Sarcasm and How to Fail a Test

This is my face. I have had this face for twenty-one years, and I am attached to it, and it is as attached to me as I am attached to it interestingly enough. On my face is my mouth, and sometimes it says some funny things. Sometimes what my mouth says gets lost in translation with the understanding of others.

I have discovered recently that some people cannot tell the difference between my sarcasm and my genuineness.

Examples of this:

1. A few months ago, a roommate {who shall remain nameless} was moving out and had packed away her pajamas and such things, but was still staying one last night at the apartment. I offered a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to serve as her pajamas. "I also forgot that I packed my underwear," she said. "Oh, just borrow a pair of mine," I replied in what I thought was a very obviously sarcastic tone. Apparently it was not sarcastic enough because the next morning, my favorite undies were pilfered. {Note: This is no way affects my good feelings towards said roommate, but who in their right mind borrows another person's underwear?! She just claims that I have a germ phobia, but I submit that underwear borrowing is crossing the line!}

2. Last week, I was in my religion class and let it be known that it is one of my favorite classes this semester. My love for it is only surpassed by my Shakespeare class. {Not sarcasm}. I was sitting by a girl I was not acquainted with, so to strike up a friendly conversation before class started, I asked, "Don't you just love this class?" She stammered a little, "Well...well...I sort of like it. You don't?" Come on. I LOVE this class! I just said that I did. How are you confused on this point? Apparently one should not be too ecstatic. It confuses people.

Now for some instruction on how to fail tests at BYU:

There are many ways in which you may fail tests here at the Y these are a few of the most common:

1. Be unprepared. Do not study. Just take that test whilst assuring yourself that going to class was enough for you to ace this test. No problem.

2. Don't go to class. Everything on the test should be in the book.

3. Don't take notes in class. Your brain can handle the remembering. It's too much of a hassle to carry a notebook and a pen {or a computer} anyways.

4. Procrastinate the day of your repentance. Simply do not prepare until you are about to walk into the testing center.

5. Completely misunderstand your teacher's instructions. {My personal favorite and most common mode of failure}.