Dwain the Tub I'm Dwowning!

First, I will pat myself on the back. Next, I will tell you why. As of 3:50 pm today, I will have completed everything (or very nearly) on my list from the other day. I would probably literally pat myself on the back if I wasn't too tired to do so. I don't mean to complain, but I have never gotten so little sleep in my life. Including the marathon essay-writing of last semester. During the course of the past two weeks, I haven't gotten to bed before 2:00 am once. Not once. This school stuff is draining, I'll tell you what. I know my mom is already shaking her head and my sister is saying to the computer, "You're going to get sick!" Believe me, if I knew better, I would make it a priority to be in bed at 9:30.

A little procrastination goes a long way. I didn't procrastinate a lot, I said a little. A lot of procrastination goes even further, so I just did a little. I would try and give you my list of excuses, but at this point, I can't remember where I've been for the past few days...So here is how the past couple of days went down:

On Tuesday night, I stayed on campus for an extra hour or so to write a paper. I went home, ate some dinner and then started working on the paper some more. I was writing until 5:00 am. I gratefully crawled into my bed until 8:00 when I started getting ready for school. Wednesday was another long day, and I was exhausted from the previous night's overhaul. When I got home from school Wednesday evening, all I could think about was how excited I was to go to bed. However, my bed would have to wait until I finished another paper for another class. I got to work on that paper immediately, and did my best not to get distracted. I did pretty well, but that paper (along with other assignments due today) kept me up for hours and hours and hours and hours...

1:00 passed and I was half way there. 3:00 passed, but I still had a few more pages to complete. 5:00 passed and I was almost there. 6:00 passed and my handwriting was no longer legible. My eyes would close for a few minutes at a time and I would wake up and not remember where I was. Finally, at about 7:10 am I had finished everything. I decided that I needed to shower (because that's what I usually do before bed) so I gathered up my pajamas and left my bedroom. I paused outside the bathroom wondering which was better, to smell nice and have clean hair, or to get a few minutes of sleep. I had to be getting ready by 8:00, so I decided to skip the shower even though I needed to wash my hair two days ago. My bedroom was freezing and I was just too tired to make any logical decisions, so I took my shoes off grabbed my blanket and a pillow and set up camp in the hall outside the bathroom. I knelt down and said my prayers and apologized because I didn't know if it was my evening prayer or my morning prayer, and I thanked my Heavenly Father that I had survived the night, and I asked to just survive the coming hours at school.

Right as I laid down, I heard one of the bedroom doors open and I heard the quiet shuffle of sock-covered feet. I looked up to see who was there, but there was no one. I close my eyes again, and a few minutes later, I heard the noise again, but still there was no one. By about the fourth or fifth time, I knew I was on the brink of insanity. I closed my eyes tight and tried not to think about the movie, The Sixth Sense. I was asleep for maybe 30 minutes when my sister, Ettie, found me in the hall. She knew something must be wrong because no person in their right mind sleeps in the hall on the floor unless they are seriously ill. She asked me when I had gone to bed and I told her I just barely got there, but by then I was already almost late. I staggered into my room and threw on a sweater and my comfy drug-dealer-esque shoes, pulled my hair back and put on Steph's fake glasses because the circles under my eyes were now miniature craters.

By the time I got to school, I was completely exhausted, and I had no desire to pick up my feet. I dragged myself to the stairs that lead down to the basement classrooms and contemplated sitting down and scooting all the way to the bottom instead of walking. But I used all my will power and got to class and turned in my last assignments for the semester. I have never been happier. But I think I'll save the celebrating for tomorrow and the following days of finals. The best part is, the worst part is over, and I will probably get to sleep in my bed tonight. In fact, I am planning on going to bed at 4:30 when I get home. At the moment I am going through the mild hysteria phase of exhaustion, and pretty much everything is funny, hence the title of this post...