The Curse

Yes, there is a curse on my family. I didn't really realize it until recently myself. I think part of the curse must be oblivion to the curse because I think that all my family members have it, but they just don't know it. Fortunately, my brother-in-law, pointed the curse out to my sister and I this summer while we sat precisely measuring out our ice-cream portions. Two scoops and a spip exactly. (spip-n. a small portion of something) My brother-in-law, not being a "blood" relative is apparently aware of the curse, as I'm sure are my other brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. The curse is this: "All of the members of this family must have exactly the same amount and portions of food as the people they are eating with or they feel deprived." The curse is never bending. When I was a lot younger, my mom would buy those cartons of ice-cream that were rectangular. She would unfold the whole carton and cut the ice-cream into perfectly even individual rectangles for her cursed children. We each would receive our rectangle of ice-cream greedily and sit along the wall in the kitchen in our designated spots. Apparently my mother had to resort to the rectangular cartons because scooping just wouldn't cut it. Someone was always certain that someone else had more than they did.

The curse isn't just about ice-cream or when we're just with our family members. It applies to all food that is ever served at any function. "How many sausages did you have?" "Did you have two servings of lasagna?" "If you're having some, I have to have some too." Need I say more? So now my sister and I were aware of the curse. Well, the fact that knowing we were cursed made the curse that much more powerful. We decided that something must be done about it. So pulled out the heavy artillery: a family "Biggest Loser" contest. We made t-shirts and weighed ourselves and counted calories and exercised like madwomen. The result: weight gain. Trying to do something about it actually made it that much worse! We became conscious of the fact that we felt like we had to cut back and that made our bodies feel deprived. The Biggest Loser competition may have only lasted for maybe two weeks tops. So we then became aware of part two of The Curse: "Diets only make us feel more deprived, therefore resulting in more weight gain."

So as a college student, on my own without my mother telling me that one piece of toast is enough and that everything is just "empty calories," I have only continued to be more cursed than usual. I happen to have two very lean, athletic (well they workout, that's pretty athletic), and beautiful roommates.

As you can see, Lora is probably about 5'9" (maybe I'm overestimating) but her hips are level with my waist. Everything about Lora is tall and classic. Risa is probably only an inch taller than me in real life, but her legs are quite lengthy, and of course she is wearing her stylish high heels. Now, I'm not comparing myself and my body to my two roommates. That would only be wrong on all too many levels. I am just trying to emphasize the power of the curse. Since these roommates workout consistently, they can usually just eat whatever they want. I, on the other hand, don't workout as consistently. (I can't seem to coax my body out of bed at 5:30 every morning for some strange reason.) So, come dinner time they are hungry after a long day of work, school, exercise, etc. I am also hungry from school and work, and maybe the occasional workout. Since The Curse is still very much in affect, I just have to eat as much as my roommates or I don't feel like I got enough to eat. Curse this Curse!

So this is turning out to be one major problem. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not waddling around campus snacking on doughnuts. I still dance hard every week and I get in workouts here and there when I can wake up, and I do try to eat my vegetables like my mom taught me. But there definitely are some days when I feel like this:

Attractive eh? That's what I thought. She is rather cute for a hippo. I did want to share this poem I found in one of my favorite books though:

"Ode to a 'Budding' Ballerina"

"Donuts, hot dogs, stuff like that is bound to make a body fat. So if you're going to eat that way, you'll wind up in the blimp ballet. Unless the trend is toward a show of baby elephants on toe, I would suggest you put the brake upon your heavy junk intake."

So the goal is to break The Curse. I'm going to admit that I don't really want to become some health fanatic, I just don't want to look like a hippo on point. Well there's an image for you. Hopefully knowing this flaw won't damage your perception of me. I really do love my body and feel truly blessed for having such a strong healthy body, but there definitely comes a point where one needs to choose to take better care of the great gift that has been given to us by our Heavenly Father. So here is to breaking The Curse! (And not just for me.)